resolution.......

So it's the New Year and I haven't really come up with any good resolutions. I mean, I can do the "I have to lose weight" or "time to get in shape" ones. But I don't know. They seem do distant to what I really need to change in my life. I mean, no doubt I need to lose some weight and get in shape. Those are hugely admirable goals. But my needs are much, much more basic right now. I haven't walked in over a month....so I haven't had that wonderful time to think creatively. I guess that could be a resolution. But I really have to worry about helping keep a roof over our head and our heat turned on. These things seem so small....like they should just be taken care of. But it's not always that easy. I know others are struggling with it as well. It's just very hard to talk about. No one really likes to say that kind of stuff out loud. I also would like to continue on with my massage program. But it is very hard to think about going to a class when you have to very seriously consider the cost of gas to get you there. So I guess I could say my resolution is to make more money. Very few people get rich by waiting tables. Aww....I don't really want to be rich. Just not constantly stressed about money. I tell God all the time that I would be a great lottery winner!! I would be generous and kind with my haul. But.....I don't really play the lottery......so that pretty much hurts my chances of winning right there. I am searching for a meaningful resolution. Someplace to focus my heart. Not just a list on a post-it note. (though again, I am not saying that doesn't work for people. Just not for me.) I hope 2010 is an easier year for my family. My whole extended family. My Aunt who is dealing with crippling arthritis. My Dad and Grandmother who are or have been dealing with cancer. My mother and sister and their ex-husband issues. My husband...............well, I can't even go there right now. So anyway.....2010.....hmmmmm............time to make a big ole change. Just not sure exactly how to put it into resolution type words. One thing is absolutely for sure....I gotta keep walking. 'Cause that totally set me free. I can't afford Under-Armour....so if you see a lady walking in layers of clothing and coats....just honk and wave. If she waves back....it's probably me. Have a good 2010. No, how about this....have a GENTLE 2010. May peace be so prevalent we start to take it for granted!! Okay....now I'm off to walk in the frosty (arctic) air!