Sooooo...........it's been a while. It's summer in full swing and the temps are already in the high 90's and it is not the heat.....it is the humidity, stupid!!
Anyway....been hanging out at the pool with the rest of the suburban moms (though they are probably school teachers out for the summer, and or not putting their families in dire straits while being out of work.) Bitter much? But really, I love the neighborhood pool. I am a people watcher by nature and have certainly observed some stereo-types over the past 2 weeks. I need to be clear, I am a chubby, very ordinary looking woman....I may fit into all category's or I may fit into none. These are just observations.
The Mom Who Doesn't Want Her Children Splashed- She may be my least favorite. The pool is full of children letting off energy. Full of parents playing with their kids. Chances are your precious little 2 year old is going to get splashed during an over-zealous game of sharks and minnows. Get over it....or take them to the baby pool. Oh....and I bet you park your giant Graco in the aisles of restaurants, don't you? yeah....I thought so.........
The Mom With The AAAHHHHMMMAAAZZZIIINNNGGG Boobs!!- Okay....I've had 3 kids. My boobs are big(ish) and staring at my toes. She's had 3 kids. Her boobs are up to her chin! They are, what, an E? And so perfectly round. Dolly has nothing on this gal.
The Mom Who Should Buy A New Bathing Suit- Just one made in this century. That's all.
The Drunk Creeper Dad- I suspect that 64ounce cup from "On the Run" is not full of Mountain Dew. Maybe it's because I can smell you 3 feet away. No, I don't want to be thrown, thank you. Neither does my husband. Really. Stop looking at my 13 year old when she walks away. REALLY!!!!!!
Dad's Who Bond With Kids By Throwing Them 7 Feet in the Air- Son....I haven't seen you all week....let me fling you into the next time zone!! Don't cry.....that'll just need some stitches, and your baby toe is over-rated anyway!!
Mom Who Wears a Bikini No Matter What- This is maybe the person at the pool I could learn the most from. Stretch Marks? Yeah, so what!! Overweight? You got a problem with that? I love how this mom carries herself. She is so confident in her body and skin. She is enjoying her children and her friends and she's gonna wear a bikini no matter what. Good for her.
The Mom Who Brings the Neighborhood- You know her. She has something like 14 kids with her. She stays all day. She brings two 24 packs of soda's and as many canister's of Pringles Foodlion can keep in stock. Are those brownies on her table? I'm gonna go sit by her.
There is so much more about the pool that I love. I love how teen boys remind me of labrador puppies. Fighting and wrestling and trying to be the Alpha Dog. I love (and remember) how the teen age girls 'get ready' to go to the pool. They are so pretty. Their skin is so smooth and tan. They fix their hair and put on make up. They stand at the end of the diving board for at least 5 minutes. Okay. All eyes are on them. Everyone is watching to see what she's gonna do. She gets off the board and goes back to tanning. I love summer.
It goes by all to fast. Enjoy your summer!! Wear lots and lots of sunscreen. We'll be wearing jackets before you know it!!!
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
