A friend (I will not call her old, because that would suggest that we are, in fact, old) gave me an amazing gift today, and made me marvel at the sheer wonder of forgiveness. Her capacity for it. I have been carrying around some things in my heart for a long time. A wrong I did against a girl in the 5th grade. A wrong against a girl in the 6th grade. And this terrible wrong I played a part in 24 years ago when I was too weak to really stand up to someone and was talked into something that caused this particular friend a lot of pain. Well.....she sort of absolved me of it. Said to not let it be in my "top 5" list of shameful things anymore. And I have not been able to stop thinking about it all day. If you read my little blog, you know that I have been in the midst of an ugly struggle with my marriage. Things have been untenable at best in my house. BUT....things have slowly.....and ever so gently begun to turn around. A new job, some big bills paid off, and some very definitive plans have helped. But too....I have to think forgiveness has to come into play. I am not saying I am not being very cautious...........but that little "Balm of Gilead" that was given to me, certainly should be extended to my husband. Or to anyone else I may have harbored or held something in my heart against. That (um duh...) includes myself.
I am not sure of the direction my life may take in the near future. Things are still very tough. Still, I am so grateful for this friend. For her sense of humor. For her complete dedication to her children. For her amazing ability to forgive. Thank you for taking me out of myself, and making me think about how good it feels just to be forgiven. I am gonna really try to pay this one forward. At least for today. Thank you La. You are really a very special lady.
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